The Parent Pledge - Take it. Trust me. Your Child will Thank you...

As winter sport seasons start to get underway, a repost of an earlier blog.

If your child plays on a sports team, trust me...
NEVER DO THE FOLLOWING THINGS:

1. Try to get the attention of or talk to your kid while they're with their team for a contest.
- This includes from the time you drop them at the school/club/competition until they get back into your car to go home. Even if you've coached them in the past, even if you're a master coach or master former player yourself, there is NOTHING that should ever trump the sacredness of the team, period.

2. Yell or talk to the players/coaches from the opposing team during/after the contest.
- I promise you that if you have done this or do this currently, your son or daughter is embarrassed by your actions. Even if they say the opposite.

3. Cheer at the game as if you’re watching a dogfight.
- Are you kidding me?!

4. Yell out instructions to the team while they’re playing.
- 10 to 1 you are yelling the complete opposite thing the coach is looking for. If you’re not in the huddle, stay out of it.

5. Overreact to officials.
- You can react, sure. You can disagree, absolutely. Don’t make a scene about it. You look like an idiot.

6. Go onto the field of play when they get injured unless or until you’re called out there.
- Might just be a sprained ankle…don’t overreact. Go near the entry point, but wait for the nod from the trainer or coach. Your child is NOT made of glass. They will thank you for not treating them like they are.

7. Do NOT cheer to be the center of attention.
- The contest is on the field/ice/court, it is not in the stands. If you need some competition in your life, join a team, play some darts, run a race. Do not make your child’s game about you.

8. Yell at your kid for every little things he/she does.
- See #4

DO THIS:

1. Cheer positively and passionately for your child’s whole team and for great play on both sides.
- Be a great ambassador for sportsmanship and a positive example of human being-ness. Whether you think so or not, you’re child is watching and learning from you!

From the Roots Up ... Done Right

Some coaches get pulled into their roles because they have a strong sense that coaching is a calling, some because there's just no one else to do the job and still others do it out of a sheer sense of obligation.  I work with coaches of all stripes.  In the case of one Michigan program, the coach is a little bit of a combination of all three of those.

Coach Shannon Zinser, the Varsity Volleyball Coach at Clare High School, accepted the Varsity Volleyball Position last year.  She did this in order to serve her community and try to ensure that her daughter and the rest of the volleyball players' experiences where positive.  Oh, and she'd like to build the program into a winning one if at all possible.

Admittedly and commendably, Shannon doesn't have all the answers on exactly how to do that, so she reached out for help.  It wasn't enough for her to just coach a team as it's been done there in the past.  She is reaching for a much deeper experience for all involved.  In other words, she wanted to grow a program from the roots up.

So she set out to find a way to do that, eagerly finding people who would join her on the mission.  All along the way admitting her shortcomings and knowledge shortfalls while working to overcome them.  She looks for the 'right' people to fill staffing positions and roster spots, just as Herb Brooks did on his mission to shock the world with his 1980 USA Hockey team.  In other words, she's doing it right.

The results this year didn't shock the world, although there were some measurable improvements in overall results.  There is still a long way to go to convince the community and some of the players that this process takes time, but that it will be worth it.  There is also some work to be done to inspire the type of increase in work that needs to be done to improve fundamental skills to reach their big picture goals.   To call on Western Michigan University Football Coach, PJ Fleck's idea about reaching success, it is not a straight line:

Credit: www.whatdriveswinning.com (PJ Fleck)

To do it right, you will get worse, first.  You will see most of your wins behind the scenes.  You will be frustrated and second guessed.  You will have days it doesn't seem worth it.  However, if you stay the course and continue to evolve yourself and inspire your players, their parents and your community, you will find success.  

I commend coaches like Shannon Zinser and her staff that have the gumption to fight the good fight for the right reasons.  Keep moving forward!  

The "Bucks" Will Not Stop Here

They may still be one field away from the BIG GAME when they suit up at Traverse City’s Thirlby Field this coming Saturday against Maple City Glen Lake in the Division 6 Michigan state semi-final, but Pine River High School has been playing on the field of dreams, from a sports culture perspective, all season long.

A few shining examples sent to me from Pine River softball coach, Laura Mumby, points to some of the evidence of that.  Here is a school, literally in the middle of nowhere, alongside US-131 near the small Michigan town of Leroy.  The home of the ‘Bucks’.  A town with one of the best summer time festivals around, but not a whole lot else.  This is the setting you think of when you picture a small town.  LeRoy comes together with the towns of Luther and Tustin to make up the Pine River High School Community. Just like everywhere else, they have good and bad.  This is a quick note to point out and high five some good.

A good culture is, I think, most coaches' wish.  Creating a good one provides for an interesting journey and is often much harder than anyone can imagine.  At Pine River, they’re winning, and that’s great.  However, the more exciting thing to those that are around the program is that they’re winning by way of inspiration behind the scenes.  That’s more important in the grand scheme of things.  

Last year, Pine River player Tristen Nelson made an impact on little 7 year old Carter Norman while visiting a few lunches and sharing recess with Carter and his friends at their school.  As the Bucks geared up for they’re District final game back on November 4th, Carter geared up to cheer on his favorite player.  His grateful mom, Crista, made sure the world, and Tristen knew and as gracious growing leaders do, Tristen responded in the most heart warming way.  Take a look:

This run means a lot to Tristen, and I'm sure every player on the Bucks' roster.  They've clawed and scratched their way further than almost every other team in the state.  The team has undoubtably been uncomfortable and been made to conquer mountains more times than they can count this season.  I haven't been at one practice, I've never met Tristen or any of his teammates, so I can't know any of the above for certain.  I can, however, look at the pictures below and the raw emotion and sum up what I know to be common of any great journey.

 

Coach Terry Martin of Pine River Football seems to have built a winning team and solid program, making the playoffs most years and winning a district title a few years back.  The Pine River community is proud of the success of its football team and their advancement through this state tournament, no doubt.  That they also have upstanding players that freely show their humanity and humility as youngsters look on makes the journey not just fun, but important.  They’re playing from a deeper place of meaning and there are many hands on deck to reinforce that important point.  All of that makes this type of journey not just important to one rural Michigan town, but to our society as a whole.

Good luck to the Pine River players, coaches, and community on Saturday.  Continue to be great role models and growing leaders on your journey. Regardless of Saturday, these Bucks will NOT stop here.  They'll continue out into the world as successful young adults, and that's the greatest victory any coach and any community can ever hope to have.

United we ALL Stand, Divided we ALL get our butts kicked

Riots?! Really? Stop. 

I say this as a person of a minority group who shares a fear of losing rights recently earned, this is not what you do for a result you don't like. It's the very unAmerican behavior that those on the left claimed would happen from Trump supporters if he had lost. I understand your fear, I truly do. I also understand that this nation can and will only come through this stronger than before when everyone finds productive ways to express their despair. 

And for those of you out there who are Trump supporters or Clinton haters that read this....don't just like THIS one because you happen to agree while you read the headline of my 'this is why I despair' share and rolled your eyes! Don't like this one, and then continue to post about 'stop whining!' I remind you that of the people that did vote, (only just over half the population btw) MORE of them voted for HRC. So let's not act like it was a clear sweep of most people. It was a quarter of people in the right states. Calm down. To you I ask that you perhaps have some empathy. And also this: There are many, many groups in the minority who feel as if they've been dismissed and shunned by a nation they love just as much as you. Try to understand their hurt and fear at electing someone who so eagerly stoked the hateful, angry masses who are slow to accept the inevitable changing demographics of OUR nation. 

Bottom line: half of you, find productive ways to help move our country forward in a more positive way; and the other half, please express empathy and understanding to your fellow citizens, regardless of color, religion, sexual orientation, etc. Once again: #unitedweALLstand#dividedweALLgetourbuttskicked