#uracoach Post #2

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#‎uracoach‬ if you recognize and teach your players and their parents that 'perfectionist' is a dirty word if they're hoping to develop. Failure is a necessary aspect of striving for greatness.

It's often the parent, speaking for their child who says it first.  For me, an avid reader and re-reader of books like The Talent Code, by Daniel Coyle and Mindset, by Carol Dweck, it's a cringe worthy moment.  "Little Johnny is such a perfectionist," the parent says beaming with pride or in that excuse tone coaches hear often.  This is the point of the conversation where I found myself doing a silent 10 count to stop myself from screaming before going on to point out that this 'perfectionist' idea you speak of is A.) Not a fixed trait - like he was born with and extra toe and so it' s just a part of who he is, and B.) It is not a mark of greatness.  Quite the opposite in fact. 

A perfectionist mentality suggests that one simply MUST be perfect to be satisfied and/or happy.  Since we know that there is no such thing, let's stop wearing the label like it's a badge of honor.  Those players who tend to be fall under this category do so for one of a few reasons: 

1. They learned early that if they mess up it is bad and so they better show the world that they are disgusted with their mistake to gain the approval of the adult who is teaching them.  Bonus points if they're really hard on themself because then they'll get that same adult to not be so hard on them and their mistake.
2. They were told time and again how talented they were at a certain skill or how naturally it came to them.  If you've read Mindset, you know that this player is now in full out protect mode.  They will avoid taking risks for fear of failing and will do anything they can to protect their naturally talented title lest anyone should find out that maybe they aren't as good as they originally were thought to be.
3. They are simply stuck with the misconception that they are supposed to be perfect.  Again, that is impossible and also unattainable.

These players will all fail to meet their potential.  They will all provide negative distraction to their teams, too.  Tip for you parents, change your language and help your kids overcome this mindset if this is them.  Most coaches on the recruiting trail will see this as a red flag to guard against rather than the selling point you think it is.

Don't forget to register for the Intentional Coaching Workshop by June 17th at www.TreeRootsLLC.com

Happy Coaching!